Am having Election debate party. That is to say half a dozen people coming round to watch TV and make rude comments about our glorious leaders. Asked a lot more people. Excuses included:
* "I know enough already."
* "I've got five lambs to feed."
* "I've got the lambing men to feed." (Lambing is big right now in Northumberland.)
* "I'm away - very away."
* "I'm a fascist. I shoot at the TV these days when Gordon Brown's on it. You wouldn't like me any more if I came."
* And strangely enough "He's canvassing, or putting leaflets through doors or something" because the political process goes on up here even in presidential politics is arriving at a TV station near you any second. In fact, Friends of the Earth organised a meeting tonight for the Berwick constituency candidates which they are all going to apart from the Tory candidate Anne-Marie Trevelyan. I don't know what Anne-Marie is doing. (I invited her to my party but she hasn't replied. There's a chance she's lambing.)
I'm only having the party because I went round a couple of the local pubs hoping someone would have it on one of their big tellies. Excuses from managers included:
* "No, we'll have the sport on. People are more interested in sport",
* "It's happening at dinner time. People like to eat their dinner in peace."
Looking at the local paper, the magnificent Northumberland Gazette (everyone reads the Gazette up here - it's the law) life goes on regardless. Aside from the Friends of the Earth meeting, there's a nature talk on "Birding in Majorca" hosted by the Natural History Society, and another talk entitled "My Love of Flowers" to the Warkworth and District Flower Club and yet one more on the Newcastle and Carlisle Railway to the Aln Valley Railway Society (with Refreshments.) So is the world going to stop to watch the guys in action? Not everybody's. Mine is though.
I've bought in smoked salmon pate for the Tories, hummus for any Liberal Democrats and guacamole for the New Labour among us. There is alcohol (a necessity) and bags of popcorn (a luxury). I've even moved a sofa from one room to another exposing all the dust and grime that lurks underneath which you usually don't get to see. Maybe it was a sign. A bit like the volcanic eruption. I'm pretty sure the Romans would have cancelled any event slated for a day a volcano erupted and filled the sky with ash. Plus, driving back from the shop, I saw three different dead pheasants on the road. I just about stopped myself from climbing out the car, slicing them open and reading their entrails.