I always review my year. Usually though I do it either on New Year's Eve at dinner or on a beach walk the next day with my husband and my gay best boyfriend; we say what was good and what was bad about the year, mark it out of 10 and write our resolutions in the sand (you might as well start the way you mean to go on.) This year though my best boyfriend was spending New Year with his partner and we had London diva and her family up and it completely went out of my head. Why was that? Is it that I do not care about the past any more? (Unlikely, I am catholic and have been in therapy, I virtually live in the past.) Do I think there is no room for improvement? (Obviously a far more difficult one to answer.) Or was it just that I got so busy - my four-year-old turned five on New Year's Eve, my six-year-old turns seven on Friday and my parents are still with us. I figure I can relax on Saturday( the third Saturday in September that is).
So the year. An extraordinary one.
The bad things included:
*tears and fears my six-year-old son was not happy at school. The situation was resolved but it took time.
*ongoing anxiety about my five-year-old's stomach migraines.
*intermittent loneliness and the blues about where I was and what I was doing.
*missing London, London, London.
*the suspicion I am getting really old.
The good things included:
*blogging and making friends in cyberspace.
*the chance to write a book (- the money was quite nice too while I had it. Builders are an expensive habit).
*living in the renovated cottage with space to swing a cat. (Shame my cat did a runner pretty much as soon as we arrived in Northumberland).
*seeing the good things about life in Northumberland.
*recognising I had, despite myself perhaps, made friends here.
So the year then is a 10. (I always mark a year higher than my husband. Last year, we were living in Northumberland at his instigation because he wanted to live here, we had a beautiful baby daughter who had just turned one, he had bought himself a new car and he gave the year six and a half. Six and a half! He is lucky he made it past the bongs.)
As for resolutions
*to shout less and be more patient.
*to revise the blog and make it more whizz bang (this one might take a while).
*to revise my life and make it more whizz bang (alternatively to get more sleep).
Actually, I just remembered why I did not do the review and resolutions, I think I was too busy being anxious about making the decision about whether we stay in Northumberland or return to London. The decision is made - I just do not want to say it out loud yet.