Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Are you dancin'?

My husband came back for the weekend and then went again. Maybe the flies carried him away on their sticky feet? I had put the children to bed after the usual two hour performance involving baths, books and bollockings. I had lain next to the six-year-old and said: "I love you so much. Do you know that?" And he said: "No. How much do you love me?" And I said: "I love you brighter than the stars." He said: "Do you love me more than Daddy?" I said: "Yes. That's just the way it is." He said: "More than Granny?" and I said: "Yes." and thought: "Don't tell her though." "More than television?" No contest. "More than your make-up?" More than that even. I said: "I love you so much if there was a tiger coming up the road and it was hungry I would let it eat me so you could run away." He rolled over, into me: "I think the tiger would change his mind and not want to eat you." I said: "You're right. We could invite it for tea instead."He said: "I don't think that happens. Only in books." I said: "Well, we shall ask the next tiger we meet and see if he says 'Yes'."

Once I had lost him to sleep, I came downstairs to the kitchen. I pushed the table against the hearth and cleared the chairs to one side. I thought: "I can sweep the floor. Clear it of crumbs, mop off the dirt and wait for it to dry or I can dance." I pressed eject to open up the CD drawer on my laptop, fed it and thought: "It has been an age since I went to a club. Will anyone buy me a drink?" Acoustic guitars and fiddles gushed out into the warm air to catch in the gobbets of crystal hanging from the chandelier. Folk rock spun me one way then the other. I like to dance; always have. I closed my eyes a while. I have a gay best boyfriend. He cool shimmies on the dance floor, hands behind his back, dandy hips asway. He and I do this thing. On the dance floor. We step around and round, twirling to face each other and then away. Anyone watching who did not know I am his hag, he is my gay best friend, would think we have hot sex and oftentime. But we do not, will not, cannot think of such a thing. Instead, we dance, caressing with a smile, loving each other in the beat . I danced with him last night. I could not tell him so. I wonder, later, in his London bed, if he dreamt he danced with me.

18 comments:

Jeff said...

Please reserve one dance for me; a waltz, I think...

lady thinker said...

Wonderful post - especially for the intro to urban dictionary - well I never ... hag..

I can see uma thurman and john travolta strutting their stuff here..

Crystal Jigsaw said...

I am sure your son is dancin' in his sleep tonight.

Crystal xx

merry weather said...

...baths, books and bollockings... what an accurate observation! It's certainly true in my house.

Loved the dancing thing - you a fag hag wifey? - really, whatever next :)

DogLover said...

You are a dreamer, aren't you, WITN! the dance sequence was beautifully told.

I read your writings with great pleasure.

doglover

@themill said...

One of my favourite books.

@themill said...

Forgot to say, sorry you can't dance with your husband

Livvy U. said...

Dance - it's thing, the only thing, the thing that crosses cultures, bypasses language (especially our own chattering heads), gives us back the best life moments each time we do it. I'm a convert, pure and simple. I took a year out to learn to teach it in the community, then met the Bim instead, and so I hanker for it still.
I'm glad you had yourself a dance night.

belle said...

Beautiful.

Mean Mom said...

Can I have his number?

miss yerem said...

i want his number,too:o) !!!
it reminded me of the scene with rupert everett and julia roberts in the film " my best friend`s wedding". the i-love-you-more -than-conversations are great,i always enjoy them with my son:-)) how`s your german coming along,by the way? if you want to practice,come and visit my blog! all the best from faraway berlin, anja

dollshouselin said...

A sliver of moon danced on the waves whilst you jigged.Your gift allows us to hear the song in your soul.Wild cats before wild men........Love it.

Mopsa said...

I'm pleased your dream last night was nicer than mine, which included a Devon remake of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Can't begin to imagine why.

Cathy said...

I want a gay best friend to dance with!

wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

Yeah, can you share your GBF?

Daniel said...

Wow, you really ARE cosmopoliton!

Belladonna said...

I thought he was MY gay best friend!

Or do we have different GBFs?

Pig in the Kitchen said...

Now i'm going to do that thing where i don't say anything relevant i just go, 'ahhh, that was a lovely post!' and it really was.
I almost cheered at the point where you decided against the crumbs in favour of the cool gay friend.
Fab.