Wednesday, April 18, 2007

The tooth. The whole tooth

My front tooth chipped. What happened there? What next? Does it fall out? Do they all fall out? Do I keep them in a plastic box and frighten pet dogs with them? I will end up losing them. I will have to ring my mother and get her to come and find them. She will say: "You lost your teeth. The teeth I gave you?" I will have to go to the dentist and lie about flossing. I hate the dentist. It is like going to confession. All that guilt and regret. (Do I mean contrition?) I used to lie in confession too. I would have been in there hours. "Forgive me Father for I have sinned. It has been six months since my last check-up. Yesterday, I lost my temper 42 times and my teeth once."

16 comments:

kinglear said...

I had a chip in a front tooth since I was 20. It has quietly smoothed itself over the last nearly 40 years and is now as good as the rest. So no worries.

Winchester whisperer said...

Steer clear of the Irn-Brew

Drunk Mummy said...

Hell's Teeth! (as they say). It looks like it might be divine retribution for telling lies in confession.
Surely no-one (least of all the dentist) really believes people who say they floss every day?

Mopsa said...

First my front tooth chipped and then it moved...and stood in a new place which felt odd to my probing tongue for months. And I'm not 6 years old, so I was pretty scared that my whole mouth was falling apart - but it has stopped, for now. Take heart.

james higham said...

Can't they ... er ... do something?

local yokel said...

You'll be keeping them in a glass on the bedside table in no time. Isn't that what we all do up here?

Anonymous said...

Oh WITN,
My heart is pounding for you. I chipped my tooth 20 years ago, a crown has become frequent and increasingly expensive trips to the dentist to have it replaced;not to mention all the bad dreams about teeth falling out. If it is small follow kinglear and leave it alone.

x said...

I found my emery board quite useful when I chipped a front tooth

catspaw said...

Thank goodness I downloaded that picture of you from the London Times BEFORE this disaster occurred... (smile)

knifepainter said...

Could be worse wifey, I appear to be growing long grey hairs in my ears.

Why ?

Getting older is just one long, low, moan of anguish.

Anonymous said...

Forget the tooth. I want to see a picture of you in your Wellingtons again. Grrrrll power !!!

mutleythedog said...

If you save up you can buy new teeth - either from dead people or the very poor!

Minx said...

Mutley, you're a twit. They don't have to be dead.

Jan said...

Just fell in and What A Fabulous Blog this one is.
Some brilliant reading on a mediocre Thursday pm.
I'm suffering with toothache( THIS is worse than childbirth, believe me !!) but your blog has offered balm..
Thankyou indeed!

Anonymous said...

Don't bite the dentist, with four children you'll need a referral to an orthodontist.

Anonymous said...

I mean three, I guess I'm projecting. Or maybe I'm just psychic.