Thursday, April 05, 2007

God, what a day

Do you know how I know there is a God? It is not because a dozen earnest young people with backpacks carrying a large wooden cross walked by my window this morning. (Last week, I saw a woman leading a beautiful white horse. I knew it meant something but I did not know what.) The cross did not take much figuring out. It was either a warning to stop blogging or a sign I was about to have a bad day.

It was a bad day and the reason I know there is a God is because I have lost the car keys. Usually my husband loses the car keys. And after everything I said about him persistently letting the car run out of petrol. All I spend when that happens is time and an impressive amount of bad language. Replacing the car keys is going to cost more than £1,200. (I should actually say "car key" because obviously we do not have a spare. Why would we have a spare? It is not like we are ever going to lose it. ) It is going to cost this huge amount of money because you have to reprogramme the car's "brain" and "send away". Who knew the car had a brain? I find the fact that the car has a brain almost as worrying as the fact mine is missing along with the car key. I would so love to blame the children. But I know it is my fault. I keep putting things down and completely forgetting where they are. I have now searched the house six times to no avail. I lost them yesterday morning and thought I might find them before my husband got back from London late last night. No such luck. What is worse, is the fact that he is turning the house inside out and not a word of blame has escaped his lips. I hate it when he does that.

26 comments:

mutterings and meanderings said...

I have a theory on this. There is a hole in time which swallows things, but sometimes can't digest them. They then turn up in places you know you have looked.

This will happen to you once you have paid to have your car reprogrammed.

bernard said...

WITN

Rule no 1 when you've lost something, the more you look, the less likely you are to find it. When you have stopped looking , you will find it.
Last yr I couldn't find my wallet, I was livid, not only did it have cash in it, but credit cards and my passport. I cancelled my credit cards felt really glum, and an hour later I found it under the newspaper on the dining table. Why it was there God knows.. Look for it tomorrow and report back pls !

Kylie Booby said...

God help the kids...with you two misplacing things all the time - surely it's just a matter of time till you misplace one of them!
I really enjoy reading your Blog, it's great fun!!

Anonymous said...

About 9 months ago, we noticed the spare keys were missing to both our cars. Of course, we each had our own keys, and the spare keys were "valet" keys.

So a few weeks ago, because the in-laws were visiting, my wife decided we needed a new set of spare keys. The Toyota wasn't an issue, it was a regular key. The Honda key, however, has a chip, similar to WitN's key. So, my wife went to the dealership and got a spare made (for $35, because we had the original).

3 days later, my wife found the key. As it turns out, she had put it in a cooler / lunch bag while she was helping with our school's "field day" last year.

Cathy said...

Oh I wouldn't worry about it, it's probably just your hormones going mad in time with the grey hairs.

I solved this problem by getting myself a Kipling bag which, as well as holding the six million things I need to carry around, also has a keychain thingy attached so you can clip your keys on immediately you have used them. Come to think of it, a Kipling bag would be great for the country as they can be thrown into the washing machine if any nasty silage happens to get splashed on....

local yokel said...

If you find it let me know where, because mine might be with it. Fortunately do have a spare but it only lets you use it so many times then locks the engine. Bit of a bugger really.

Sophie King said...

Look in the fridge. I once wrapped my car keys up in silver foil along with some left over chocolate. Ah, the days of small children and brain meltdown....

kinglear said...

Required: bowl on hall table.into it go all keys etc etc when not actually in use. DO NOT REPEAT NOT put anything down anywhere else.
Or the dog will swallow them

Liz, Glasgow said...

Have you looked in the airing cupboard? That's where I find my missing phone occasionally.
Liz, Glasgow

Helena said...

Offer the children a £10 reward if they find them, much cheaper than getting a new one. Or try to sell the car and then insist to the new owner that you gave them they key already. I have lost (since I woke up) the cheque book, my tape-recorder and my mobile Internet card so actually you haven't done too badly.
www.helenafrithpowell.com

Ian said...

With the cost of this being so high you may find that if you have a fully comprehensive insurance policy that you will be covered for replacement, (minus excess of course) check it out with your insurers.

Nunhead Mum of One said...

My tip for when you've lost something is to always look for the last but one thing you lost. It's a proven theory - on Monday I lost my mobile phone charger which I actually found yesterday when I was looking for my extra large box of Maltesers. Try it!

Saint Ex said...

Ahh. As Bernard says (and it mirrors the best advice I ever got from my friend), stop looking and start thinking. I ask this: did you go to the store yesterday? Maybe to buy some kitchen stock for the husband's return? You let the keys fall into one of the horrible plastic shopping bags when you got in the door. Good luck.

Wisewebwoman said...

We had packed everything in the car, we were going away to the farm of friends for a weekend. The dog, the cat in a bag, the food for the animals. The fifty bags and bits for the toddler and the baby, the collapsible stroller and playpen, our clothes, the beer, the gifts for the host and hostess. Everything.

We pull into a coffee shop off the highway, feeling mighty pleased we had this whole business down to a fine art. How exaggerated were others' claims it was such a nightmare pulling things together when one had small children?

Slurping my coffee I turn to the backseat to pass a cookie and a juice to my toddler and notice there is something missing.

"Where's your sister?" I bellow at her gaping in shock at the empty baby seat.

My toddler blinks at me.
"At home, Mummy. She's not coming."

Don't feel so bad, WitN. I've misplaced a baby.

james higham said...

Women never forgive us for making allowances. Better to say, 'You silly ...'

mutleythedog said...

It could be tertiary syphilis - are you always thirsty?

Eats Wombats said...

Gary Larson did a nice cartoon of the car key gnomes (one lifting a cushion, another pointing to a place to put the keys).

Best to do nothing and just wait unless the keys are in the trash. I dropped my keys into a recycle bin a few months ago (silently; they were on a finger as I discarded a box). Luckily I retraced my steps with a flashlight and saw them immediately when I looked in the recycle bin.

Anonymous said...

Here's another piece of advice: just before you go to sleep, ask your guardian angels to tell you where the keys are. Apparently the time right before you sleep - that time when you're almost in a dream, but not quite - is the most lucid. Ask them, they'll tell you.

Eurodog said...

Have another drink!

bernard said...

Re mutley the dog
One assumes he is speaking from personal experience...

Nick said...

After scouring blogsites for hours looking for a really good female blog, and getting more and more depressed over the mindless trivia on offer, I suddenly stumbled on Wife in the North and thought, this is absolutely brilliant - perceptive, witty, humourous, occasionally acerbic etc. No wonder you get so many readers. Will visit very regularly from my blog in Belfast!

Hilary said...

Try praying to Anthony of Padua,he's the patron saint of lost articles (an Italian friend told me this and it really seems to work!)

777rpx said...

Have you received that quote from a dealer ? an independent garage could change the locks (much lower labour rate) and then only have the programming done at dealer. Total cost approx half your quote. Sorry to be so practical but i work at an independant bodyshop and we do this week in week out.

Hilary said...

It worked!!

Anonymous said...

Hmmm...Sorry, babe, but anyone who has so much more money than sense to have a car which requires a cost of four figures to replace the keys is not someone who is going to get a lot of sympathy from me.

My parents have to make do with a car that costs around £1,200 and suspect that many of your neighbours do as well - get over it..

mmigliac said...

So true Bernard! Always a case of not being able to see the woods for the trees!

Replacing lost car keys can cost a small fortune. I lost the keys to my VW Golf and had to fork out £460 for a replacement. After paying the main dealer costs I found these guys car locksmith
. I also found my keys a week later!

Im sure there is a joke in there somewhere. I keep smiling!