Sunday, April 15, 2007

Is that you Lord?

I are doing that thing you do in the garden on a back lit Sunday afternoon when you have children. Playing "chase me" games. Wishing you could sit down and read the "Driving" section of The Sunday Times. The six-year-old has decided to put on his wetsuit for some reason when the four-year-old says: "Look, Jesus." I turn around. The child is from Catholic stock. He might be on to something. He is pointing at a statue lurking by the pond. This is a rented house. It has things you would not have in your own garden. A pond; nine toads; tasteful statuary. It does not have a visiting apparition of the Good Lord. I say: "That is a gnome. Why would you think that is Jesus?" I look more closely at the gnome. He is sitting relaxed in a stone carved chair. He is bearded. "Mmm," I think. He is leering; he is wearing short stone wellington boots; he is smoking a pipe. Definitely not the Son of God then.

11 comments:

bernard said...

Is he wearing a deerstalker , it might be Sherlock Holmes ?

I Beatrice said...

Small children take their religion rather seriously I find. My 6-year-old grand-daughter wanted to know "What's God's other name?" Replied my daughter, thinking quickly: "Well they do call his son Jesus Christ..." 6-year-old seemed happy with that. So they became 'the Christs'; God Mary and Jesus.

And then again, more recently, she said that she didn't think Adam and Eve and the snake could have been the first creatures after all. The dinosaurs were around before that,she said. I explained that there had been some people in my youth (didn't mention that they were Peter Cooke and Dudley Moore) who had called the dinosaurs 'God's earlier rubbish'....

It was a big mistake. She thought a while and came up looking rather offended. On God's behalf.

Mr Eugenides said...

Small children are also rather matter-of-fact about religion, I find.

I recall when I taught Sunday school in my younger years, they would ask all sorts of awkward questions about loaves and fishes, water in to wine etc.: but, once you'd given them answers they deemed satisfactory, they seemed to accept what you were saying as fact, and moved on.

The Grocer said...

With ref to Mr Eugenides comment, this seems to my mind to be applicable to most religous people also.

Drunk Mummy said...

Your post reminds me of those stories about images of Christ appearing on a hot cross bun, or the Virgin Mary on a pizza. My favourite was the appearance of Jesus' face on a whitewashed wall. Several people came to pray, and set up a shrine. It turned out to be a painted-over poster of Willie Nelson (who my daughter refers to as 'The singing sheep')

Stay at home dad said...

I get mistaken for Jesus all the time!

Anonymous said...

Maybe not the Son of God, but possibly St Bruno.

james higham said...

The wet suit is definitely the thing in this situation.

Glad you found the phone.

mutleythedog said...

Depends which God really, Modog The Grands Son definitely depicted wearing wellies and smoking a pipe-well a hookah,and Asshrah Destroyer of Planets had a very bushy beard - I say had ... Also Pyrantin in Whos Belly Live a Million Souls was often found leering at the nude virgins who are his only company as he proves himself able to resist temptation...

The Grocer said...

Drunk Mummy reminded me of something I found on the net a few weeks which is the best ever Jesus image.
please see at http://famousforallkinds.blogspot.com

kinglear said...

.. So what happend later in the day??@