Monday, May 07, 2007

Sprechen Sie Deutsch?

The new laptop has started speaking to me in German and will not stop. How did it know I was learning German? If it had to stop using English, why didn't it switch to Arabic or Spanish? Why German? Has it read and understood what I have written? Will it start giving me advice on my parenting or making friends? I can introduce myself and order beer in German. That does not get me very far in understanding a fluent German laptop. It is showing off because it speaks it better than I do. Rather than stamping on it very hard, I am attempting to see the bright side. It has taught me "blog anzeigen" (view blog) and "sehr geehrter kunde" (dear valued customer). I could perhaps work them into conversation after I had introduced myself and ordered the beer. What is German for: "Machines are out to get me"?

10 comments:

jane said...

Simple, just take the computer back to Dixons and ask for one that speaks English:)

Norman said...

Try "Das Maschine ist bei Mir dagegen." You should be able to go into Control Panel and click on language and select English[UK]. Then again perhaps Jane has the right idea.

debio said...

My daughter's kart Micron computer will only talk to me in Dutch. It's lucky that it produces pretty graphs and charts - understandable in any language!

Lee said...

Well, it could be worse. It could be Farsi or Chinese ... or Zulu (think of all those clicks it could make when you hit a wrong key).

Try: Ich werde Dich zum Schrotthaufen bringen, wenn Du nicht sofort aufhörts, Deutsch zu reden! I always find that a threat works wonders with machines.

beta mum said...

Our DVD player flashes up messages in some language which could be any of the Scandinavian ones - noen of which I'm trying to learn.

City Girl said...

Haben sie ein tisch frie der eche bitte?

It means have you got a table free in the corner free?

The only german sentence i know and i suspect i have mis- spelt a few words. I do however know how to sing "two little men in a flying saucer" in German. Taught to me by my dad. He learnt it when he was in the RAF.

Pig in the Kitchen said...

Strange, my computer speaks French to me, but only when I'm blogging. And no matter how many times I select English, the damn thing keeps telling me to 'publier' instead of post. I'm sure I'll do something wrong soon and post my lurid porno novel by mistake. You didn't know I was writing a lurid porno novel did you?

mutleythedog said...

This is a very informative and useful post - I have learnt many useful German phrases.

Soddball said...

It's just your blog settings that have switched to German, not the computer.
Load the Blogger website, look around until you find 'hilfe' (top right on mine) and click on it.

In the top right will be a 'sprache andern' drop-down button which selects your language.

Ali said...

I once managed to temporarily set the language on our moblie phone into something in cyrllic script.More luck than judgement that I obviously pressed "No" not "Yes" and didn't incur the wrath of my husband.