Just how grim can it get up north? (Actually, it's quite nice.) One woman's not-so-lonely journey into the Northern heartlands.
Until my daughter came along I hadn't worn pants on my head for several decades.
There might be something a tad odd about that lad, don't ya think ? LOL
Must be something hereditary about a sense of comedy...
Wearing pants on your head is clearly accepted practice in some parts of the country, particularly among cats. Have you come across Pants Cat by Eddie Izzard? Pants Cat is one of my favourite super-heros, along with Sock Dog, if I remember correctly. They must still be on a website somewhere...
re steve:I think he was serious
That is fantastic. My daughter announced seriously last week: I like the way Grandma and Grandad try to make us laugh but Nan is just funny anyway. She was right as my mum is (very nicely) bonkers. We were away for the weekend and my daughter was looking out of the window and my mum started shouting really loudly and quite strangely: "Don't look out the window, don't look out the window!" I thought something terrible must have happened and jumped up to see what awful thing was out there, but then my mum whispered to me (through her gums) "I've put my teeth on the windowsill." My God. What hope do we have?
Here's one, in return, to make you smile:"Do bees have mouths?" asked my four-year-old Boy Of A Thousand Questions. "Yes, of course," his slightly older sister answered, incredulous that he could be so stupid, "Otherwise how would they go "buzz"?"
re "A Table Monarch": My four-year-old grandson is autistic. What we wouldn't give to hear him come out with something like that! Or anything at all, really.Also: I await the arrival of a "Wife in the South" spoof. Any northeners up for it?
Until he was six my son used to keep underpants in his pockets with a thread around the gusset in case of an emergency. Apparently aliens were going to attack at any moment. He also had some plasticine headwear which could detect their presence. He'd pull these green briefs out at the shops, yank them down over his face, the gusset across his nose, and dribble on the bit where his bottom should have been. We were at a supermarket checkout when a young assistant said to him, "that's disgusting." Now he just talks to himself.
How fantastic - laughed aloud!! if only.....
I always had short hair as a child and my sister had long hair - grossly unfair in my opinion.Anyway to make up for the lack of long tresses on my head. I put three pairs of my Mum's American Tan tights on my head and plaited the three leggs either side of my face.And I would happily go out in this ensemble, thankfully Mother allowed my unusual behaviour to continue till I was about 9 or 10!!
A friend just pointed me to you - absolutely brilliant, will definitely be coming back - thanks for brightening up my day!
I am also a Southern Belle who has been hit over the head with a club and dragged off into the hinterland.It was always my husbands dream to return to his homeland in his autumn years, leaving the children behind in the South(well they are all in their twenties, so it doesn't really count as abandonment.So here we are in deepest North Northumberland where, today, the sun is shining, the spring bulbs are blooming and a flock of mixed song birds are feeding at my bird table.The natives have proved to be curious and very friendly,like you I have made some friendships I know I will treasure, but I miss the closeness of my children and the friends in the South who were around when my children were born and who understand them as well as I do.My new friends have been great at getting to know us all and taking us into their community bosom, but it's early days yet.I love your blog,maybe we should start a Southern wives in the North club?!
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