Saturday, March 03, 2007

Daddy's home

My husband is back. This is a good thing because I get to point the children at him and say: "Look children, daddy is back. Mummy is just going for a bath. I'll be out in three days." We have only had one row so far because he made us late for a children's party. We are driving along; he is behind the wheel and I am wrapping the fleecey, black, baa-lamb puppet present in paper that says "Merry Christmas". My husband has been home for three hours. I am not in a good mood. I would go so far as to say, I am in a bad mood. Snipping off a dangling piece of cellotape, I said: "This party was really important to the boys. I really did not want us to be late for it but you had to take them out. You couldn't just let them play for half an hour and get them ready. If I had been on my own with them, we would not be late." My husband psshawed (if that's a word, he made that sort of clapped out steam engine sound anyway) and snarled: "That's outrageous." All this, by the way, in glorious sunshine, driving too fast along country roads which are too narrow . My six-year-old spoke up for sanity in the back. "Daddy's been away for a long time Mummy. He's still getting used to it. OK?" I hate the way men make you feel so unreasonable.

17 comments:

mutterings and meanderings said...

Tell him he really shouldn't be driving too fast along narrow country roads ...

Saw you in The Journal today.

Anonymous said...

Guess who is going to have to be a picture-perfect husband and father for at least several months, to win any traction with your fans?

Sunshine

Anonymous said...

You should at least let the man get use to three screaming kids after getting use to the quiet of London city.

He's probably thinking why do I bother coming up all the way from London. It's not that I am that appreciated around here anyway.

He's probably making the sound of the London train.

jtschida said...

Reminds me of a story of a dad who traveled a lot in the course of his business. During one visit home, as they sat down to dinner, his young son said, "Serve Daddy first. He's a guest here."

Kids tend to put it all in perspective...

Cheetah

mutleythedog said...

Its hard to go from one world to another Ms Wife. I never managed apparently, amomgst my many other failings, still, having a laugh in Prague!

Anonymous said...

I love your turn of phrase, your alliteration, your use of the English language is extraodinarily consumate yet so natural. Keep it up! [Yes I am a teacher!!]

Newmania said...

God I feel for him .I have a long commute everyday and my wife only has to look after Master N. When I stomp through the door having slain a finacial Sabre tooth I get all this....
"You don`t ever want to do anything".
" You don`t lift a finger around here "

..and thats my girlfriend.

Women eh ?They just don`t understand. Oh but you do wifey!

Stay at home dad said...

I once knew an Australian banker who lived in New York, while his wife and nine month old son lived in Sydney. He hadn't seen them for six months and when I asked him why the arrangement he said "When we're sitting around our swimming pool drinking cocktails it'll all be worth it". I quit shortly afterwards.

Anyway, I'm enjoying your blog a great deal after finding it this week. (I'd have come to it sooner if that copy of the Sunday Times hadn't been in the toilet awaiting a free moment). In my case, as a stay at home father I share your sense of alienation, if not your gender, geography or situation.

I've started my own blog on http://wwwstayathomedad.blogspot.com/ and I'd appreciate any help or guidance in reaching an audience, someone... anyone...

Thanks and drop by!

Anonymous said...

I love the way a teacher spells 'consumate' - it is no bloody wonder the education system is going down the pan, and parents have to teach grammar to their children instead.

CarlottaVance said...

Mummy! There's a strange man at the door!

Yes dear, its your father......

selfishlobster said...

Wow! you say what i've been thinking! Thank God!
I'm also in N'land, having moved (albeit only from Newcastle) for 'good' schools and 'quality of life', only to discover I really did like the city. DH has decided he loves the country, so I'm stuck between farmers wives and faux footballers wives - I am neither. Neither do I bake/clean properly/have well behaved kids etc.
My one friend I could ring up and say shitty day, pub? has moved away too.
N'land is a strange place, and not sure what it is anymore.
By the way, the soft play in Amble is very good, and keeps them occupied for days. Coffee there not bad either!

selfishlobster said...

oh forgot to mention - try this website: badmothersclub.co.uk.
A place where it's ok to dislike your kids for a while and to not feel like you're a terrible mother if you haven't made cookies that day! I feel normal there!

Anonymous said...

just spent a couple of hours catching up on your postings - great stuff but must admit I'm less than 50 miles from you so you'll prob not post this comment

Although from NE originally we have only recently returned after 20+years away, so natch both kids don't quite feel at home in Northumberland

The best part we find is the total lack of traffic - first bank holiday we drove a couple of hours to Keilder Water & must have passed all of four cars enroute - friends from the south whose daughter completed 5 yrs medical training at Newcastle had never been past Newcastle & simply couldn't believe the beauty of Northumberland - they're now planning to retire up here

keep up the writing, best wishes

Keep up the writing so

james higham said...

Think you're a bit rough on him in this. What's 'late' for a party anyway? Is there a strict time limit?

Anonymous said...

I agree with James - If you are too hard on him he will find someone else who isn't.

desertrat said...

I know who you are--you are that sad sack personin the office who unloads all her problems on people and feels better, while they feel worse. See ya, Wife in north

meg said...

What a bunch of self righteous twats some of your readers are. I'm laughing out loud reading your blog so please ignore the majority of the comments and keep it up.