Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Alice through the Looking Glass

Am in steamingly bad mood:
a. snapped glasses. This required trip to nearest city (one hour away). That would be inconvenient but OK; I did, however, have tonnes I should have been doing, bearing in mind we are all going to Germany tomorrow to visit a friend - providing, of course, I can find everybody's passports tonight.
b. decided to "make the best of it " and drove down to said city listening to my German CD, (can now count to 10 and say "I am from Wales".)
c. spent 40 minutes getting lost and trying and failing to park. Forced to invent own German curse words as yet to reach that section in course.
d. parked.
e. bought new glasses (at huge expense. Realised will now have to "hand-craft" Xmas gifts for anyone who is not a blood relation.)
f. drove one hour back (part of journey through darkness and freezing rain and snow.)
g. realised gauge judging miles left in petrol tank flitting between 115 and 31 (not-to-be-trusted) and filled car with petrol.
h. arrived home with new glasses.
Me to husband: "Do you like my new glasses? Do you think they make me look like a librarian?" Husband to me: "That, or Eric Morcambe."
Me to husband: "***** off. No, I mean it. Go away."

31 comments:

Braja said...

I don't know what's worse: the fact that Eric Morecambe has been dead for God knows how many years, or that he wore such atrocious glasses. You need to drill Husband further.

http://reluctantmemsahib.wordpress.com said...

why DO all language CDs teach you to say ''I am from Wales''. Even in Mandarin, for God's sake. Inventing German curse words sound like about most useful part of day? I think German would be a deeply satisfying language to cuss in: all that hissing and spitting. Enjoy it though. Germany.

Potty Mummy said...

You've said it before. It's grim Up North...

rosiero said...

For (c) try Scheisse or Mist. Mist, by the way, means "dung" which is why an Irish liqueur company could not call their product Irish Mist in German!

Stinking Billy said...

Judith, if you are going to start using asterisks instead of fuck, piss or bugger, you should at least get the number of asterisks right - I can't think of an expletive preceding 'off' with only five? Anyway, it's not like you. Bring back the old wifey!

Jaywalker said...

Beware, Wife. My new (stern) glasses caused wholesale character and wardrobe change. I found myself going on an uncharacteristic rampage through Libertys picking up strange Japanese garments with extra limb holes and hunchbacks. I am still trying to get to grips with my new frightening personality...

http://belgianwaffling.blogspot.com/2008/08/possessed.html

Rachel Pattisson said...

I hope the new glasses mean you can enjoy Germany! Did you find your husband's passport or will you be leaving him behind?(!)

James Higham said...

Hang in there, worse is to come. No, no - hang in there, all will be well.

sunshine said...

I know you intend that we should chuckle at your description of your difficulty -- but I still feel for you!!

Re glasses style: if the choice is between Eric Morcambe (whoever he is -- sorry for ignorance) or Sarah Palin (cruel of you to put so many pictures of her in one place!), I vote for Eric.

Having difficulty recovering from the intrusion of Sarah (Carribou Barby) Palin on our reasonably rational political scene-------

Mopsa said...

Bring me sunshine.... Sarah Palin has probably tried to ban all libraries in Alaska.

Sandra Montgomery said...

Hahaha! Eric Morcambe. Very funny. At least he noticed. I wore new glasses for two weeks before mine did. Symptomatic of a much bigger issue, thus the divorce.

I am loving your blog and can't wait to get the book. I am still reading up from the bottom, it's taking me ages because I read all the comments and add one of my own now and again.

So glad you got rid of the annoying Annon. person or persons. What a drag they were. I hope you don't have to keep running into them at the green grocers.

And incase you didn't read one of my late posts way down the bottom, if I come back to England for a visit, can I drop by for tea?

Strawberry Jam Anne said...

That was very restrained of you - hope at least you said it in a German accent.

A x

Crystal Jigsaw said...

Glad you put petrol in the car.

CJ xx

Arcadian Advocate said...

Does this mean that you will not now be appearing be in the latest specsavers advert?

this too will pass said...

great link to Sarah Palin

AnnB said...

Are we seeing a pattern here, Agas, Glasses beware these things come in threes what's next?
AnnB
www.newkidney.blogspot.com

The Grocer said...

Oh come on your knowhere near tall enough for Eric Morecambe, now if he'd said Ernie Wise...

AnnB said...

Are we seeing a pattern here? Agas, glasses, beware these things come in threes what's next? Not the wine glasses surely that would be beyond cruel!
Annb
www.newkidney.blogspot.com

Polergirl said...

Oh dear, tomorrow is another day... Dare you to try out your new German vocabulary on your trip?

annie said...

Funny! Husbands - they never learn, mine told me I was like Yoda from Star Wars, who is small, green and ugly and thought I would think it was a compliment

billatbingley said...

Sorry to hear about your glasses breaking. It really is most inconvenient, and just before your trip to Germany. Do hope you get off ok after the snow and fog we have been having!
Enjoy the break.

ladythinker said...

Oh heavens I hate the need for thriftiness. Please don't send me a handcrafted gift. I'm sure we are blood relations ... I've found ancestors who lived in London and in the North, Yorkshire too - we must be connected in some way - so if you were considering sending me a Christmas gift then remember we are probably blood relations..

Sandra Montgomery said...

Annie, if he said you LOOKED like Yoda then fair enough. But if he said you were like him... well that is quite the compliment. A venerated all wise, all knowing leader... not a bad thing to be in one's household!

Jaywalker said...

Dunno why my link didn't work. Oh yes, because I am an imbecile.

Try again,

Henry the Leaphound said...

We are an hour from anywhere so I feel your pain. There's nothing worse than getting home from a shopping trip ( a good three hour round trip at the fastest) only to realise you forgot to buy toilet roll.

You'll have a ball in Germany, it's a truly magical place near to Christmas so your trip should make up for all the problems with the glasses and aga.

merry weather said...

Snapped glasses, oh dear :(
Actually, my to do list says: Just Get Some Glasses, Any Glasses Will Do...

And another thing, how could you possibly look like Eric Morecambe? I mean, he was bald wasn't he?

Single Mother on the Verge said...

I think this glasses breaking thing is catching: you are the third person I've heard / read this week to need new glasses? Which makes me wonder, is this a national epidemic.

Pig in the Kitchen said...

Sometimes it would be a good thing if our husbands left us for a horse...
Pigx

sophie said...

I am thrilled you now fill up with petrol before running out, saves so much time that way.

Raph G. Neckmann said...

There must be a glasses thing out here too: my daughter told me I look more like her grandfather than her dad with my half-moon specs! The family are going through choices of different frames for me. I was quite happy with my old image...

linda said...

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