Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Did something happen?

Having a black night of the soul and it is only a quarter to eight in the evening. Tony Blair may have lost his job today but I lost the TV zapper. Usually, this would not be a big problem but Tony Blair lost his job today and I want to watch the TV. Desperately. I want to watch the TV and I am about as frustrated as a former political journalist can get when she cannot find the zapper and the world at Westminster explodes in hubris and blinked away tears. It is not just that I cannot find the zapper. My eldest hid it. I know this because hiding the zapper so he can use it on a morning when he shouldn't is one of his charming idiosyncracies. I am feeling insanely aggrieved. Being a stay at home mother sucks. OK, I am not exactly a stay at home mother, I work at home but I used to have a life, not just a BBC News 24 habit. I brought my six-year-old home from school because he said he was not feeling well and let him slump in front of the TV despite his father's ban. A ban imposed because of swearing. That is to say, using words he hears, when he does things like hide the TV zapper from Mummy. That will teach me to show mercy. That is the very last time. I want to howl at the moon. I would but it is too early for the moon. I should be there sucking in that green leather drama. I should be in London. I should be talking to MPs and asking how was it for them. I want to know. How was it for them? If I cannot be there, the very least I want to do is watch it unroll on TV. What am I doing instead of having a career or even a bad viewing habit? I am throwing Thunderbirds and dressing up clothes around the sitting room getting certifiably hacked off at my lot. Hacked off does not cover it. I was supposed to go down to London today for a friend's leaving do. Courtesy of the rain, I missed my window of opportunity. My husband made it by leaving in the early hours and is not back till Friday. Now I feel trapped. It has been a grey rainy fed up kind of day. Then this evening the sun broke out, all golden and did you miss me? I could not even go out and say hello. I am held prisoner by small guards who sleep through their shift and hide my TV zapper. I may riot.

19 comments:

wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

Look under the cushions. That's where my kids always hide ours. Yours is only six so it won't be too high up.

Pig in the Kitchen said...

look under his pillow. wake him up and threaten him.

DogLover said...

When your eldest isn't around, get your husband to show you which buttons work the TV when the zapper isn't to hand...

mountainear said...

Chill....

mutterings and meanderings said...

Er, can't you press the TV buttons with your fingers? You can on my Freeview box ...

Iota said...

Oh, so you won't know that Tony Blair changed his mind, didn't resign, and announced at PM Questions that Gordon Brown is being given a newly-created post as Minister for the North, whilst, as new Chancellor, Harriet Harman is planning to ....

I'd better shut up. You're probably not laughing.

The Grocer said...

Did you see the best bit on the local news? Cherie's comment "We won't forget the North" Let's wait and see.

Steve Schewe said...

C'mon wifey, tell us how you really feel!

I suppose listening to the radio wouldn't be the same. If it's not under the cushions, try under or next to the couch. I hate to break it to you, but losing the zapper is a problem that seems to get worse as they get older ...

knifepainter said...

Put them on hunger strike

Rivs said...

Cherie Blair - 'We won't forget the North'. I thought her husband did that ten years ago?

Crystal Jigsaw said...

Perhaps it's been boxed up.

occasional northerner said...

I was in London yesterday. It was difficult to get there and no real fun. The temptation to get off this train at Berwick is almost overwhelming.

Norman said...

Er,... You CAN watch TV without a telly y'know. Just go to
www.bbc.co.uk/tv/
and follow the links.
There is even a BBC Parliament page with a watch again facility so you can watch the departure of President Tone.....

Its a useful link when I can't get near ther telly for my wife watching soaps.

rosiero said...

I missed the coverage too - for other reasons - but the bbc.co.uk link sort of made up for it.

Guess who said...

Watching TV would simply have encouraged the attention seeking vacuous flake. Much better to take advantage of living in a good place. I too was in London yesterday and wished I hadn't been.

Sally Morten said...

No but it's about to.The next full moon is due Saturday...

Kaycie said...

Being a stay at home mom who did once have a job and a life, I am quite familiar with the frustration you're feeling. Time is really the only thing that helps. In the mean time, just have a bottle of wine. Yes, wifey, the whole bottle.

Daniel said...

Dear Madamoiselle Wife:

Here in the US, we call it the "clicker-clacker." I suppose, when you hold it in your hand, and press a button down, you hear an imaginary, metaphorical "click" and when you release the button you hear another imaginary, metaphorical "clack." (At least I call it that.)

When you loose track of the clicker-clacker, couldn't you just press the tv buttons with your fingers? Or perhaps it is connected to some sort of box that prevents you from doing that? I find in life, no matter what you want to do, there is always some obstruction blocking your effort.

I was cooking dinner, listening to the the TV and when ever they mentioned Gordon Brown's name, I would run into to see his face, because I don't want to be one of those dumb Americans who doesn't know anything. But then just as I got in site of the TV, they would switch back to Blair. Rats!

So, don't fret and fume. At least you know more than I do. As for Tony Blair, he was pretty popular here in the US, I think becasue of the way he talked. When he spoke, it was sort of musical, like an Italian guy singing opera. When our President speaks, it reminds me of a lung patient, coughing up a loogy. (loogy = heavy phlegm).

wife in the north said...

re doglover and M&M: I tried that. A lot.
re norman: mmm. My computer does not have speakers (well, technically it does, but I can't figure out how to plug them in.) Similarly, I have not yet figured out how to set up my new laptop to watch TV. Apparently, it does not believe I should be watching moving pictures when I could be working.
re daniel: when you finally run in and catch up with his face, make sure he is looking serious. It is really quite scary when he smiles.