Tuesday, May 04, 2010

The Day After Tomorrow

Is it me? But since the horror of Gordon Brown imploding in Rochdale and that last TV debate, I'm drumming my fingers on the kitchen table waiting for it all to be over. Suddenly, the day after tomorrow can't come soon enough because the politicians are beginning to annoy me. And there is no escape. I took the children shopping in Newcastle on Saturday and got caught up in a Liberal Democrat rally. That is to say we spent 10 minutes gathered around Grey's Monument waiting for Paddy Ashdown to finish his cup of tea and pret bar in Pret a Manger while he watched us wait, and 15 minutes yawning through his speech about the history of voting reform and how exciting everything is now Nick Clegg's virtues have been recognised. Courtesy of this election rally by the way, I can exclusively reveal that the Liberal Democrat candidate for Newcastle North, Ron Beadle, looks like a weeble in a suit. I contemplated going up to him and giving him a push to see if he rocked backwards and forwards but I didn't for fear Lord Ashdown felt obliged to kill me with his bare hands.

My "you're-beginning-to-annoy-me" list includes:
*The Camerons curled-up together waiting to be called to govern the country.(Sorry Sam, but yuk.)
*Cameron telling us that it's not as though he's complacent about the results, it's just he can't wait to get started. (Hubris, dear boy, hubris).
*Nick Clegg sitting down to tea with Colin Firth for a heartthrob-to-heartthob chit-chat. ("You're very beautiful." "No, you're very beautiful." "I honestly think you're more beautiful than me..." etc.)
*Politicians holding forth on tactical voting. (Do they think the voters are idiots that they have to be instructed where to put their cross?)
*Lord Mandelson. I don't know about anyone else but I've definitely heard enough from the spin-meister. (He's going to be around forever isn't he? Forever and ever?)

The only one who isn't annoying me is Brown who just makes me want to hide my head under a cushion, because he's a decent man (you may not know this but his father was a Scottish minister) and it's all gone so horribly wrong.

11 comments:

Livi said...

Hear hear! Can I vote for you?! :P

slummysinglemummy said...

OMG - I would love to watch some Clegg on Firth action. They are pretty much my two favourite men ever...

I'm actually still quite excited by the whole thing to be honest - I've got my posters up and my youngest even made me record the last debate for her to watch over breakfast before school!

Ben S said...

"("You're very beautiful." "No, you're very beautiful." "I honestly think you're more beautiful than me..."

Funniest thing I have read all election.

(And agree re the catalogue shoot of Sam&Cam on the front of the Times – nausea overcomes me...)

John Woodman said...

Your definition of "decent" must be very different from mine.

Autumn Mist said...

I think I must be a late developer, my fervour is only just gathering momentum. Had hysterics over the weeble comment, hope that's ok...

billatbingley said...

Just got back to civilisation (and my computer) after a couple of days away. I love you description of Ron Beadle - "looks like a weeble in a suit"

Did you notice if he was standing on feet or a half hemisphere??

Gone Back South said...

Yeah, it has all got a bit tiresome. They must be getting sick of saying the same things over and over and OVER again too. It'll be over soon ...

Jennifer said...

Take heart! Speaking as a fanatical Barack Obama supporter, your disinterest in the outcome will serve you well...you will be able to move on. The Day After you won't be wandering around trying to refresh political blogs which have been turned off. You won't have to join a Post-election support group. Lucky lucky lucky you!

And I agree with Slummy Single: Clegg and Firth...or just Firth and Firth, really....

Minnie said...

So enjoying your coverage, Wifey, thank you. And best wishes for your 'name day' (5th May is St Judith, according to the ephemerides given out on our weather reports here) - a sort-of birthday.

AnnB said...

Personally I found it hard to decided which has been the most tedious news item in the last few weeks: The election campaign or the volcanic ash cloud. However should any of the leaders be out of a job on Friday I have just received an exciting opportunity to become the face of today via the 'Search for a Simple Star'. This is the perfect chance for them to prove they are, after all, 'one of the people'!!!

Bermondsey mum said...

You've just got to pray we don't have to go through this all over again in 6 months...Nice piece though.