Just how grim can it get up north? (Actually, it's quite nice.) One woman's not-so-lonely journey into the Northern heartlands.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Guinea pigs keep low profile
Our guinea pigs had two homes. They had their hutch on the concrete terrace and their run on the grass. Holly used to go between the two on her motorbike - often Daisy would ride pillion. Occasionally Daisy would use her chauffeur driven car. It was difficult to keep track of which home was their primary home what with the furniture vans arriving all the time and unloading chandeliers and top range chew toys. But I sort of expected them to keep their own accounts and not take things too far on the expenses front. Admittedly when Daisy mentioned a moat in the last submission and started pushing for a swimming pool, I wondered whether they had forgotten what real life was like for ordinary rodents. We talked but they kept blaming the "system" - explained they were a special case. I felt responsible for them. They were our pets. We'd put them into power, and they were always going to eat hay while the sun was shining. And now something's happened, I think the publicity got too much. I went out this morning and they'd done a runner. I checked out the hutch and their home in the country and apart from the poo pellets and the Sky camera crew, there's no sign. The motorbike's gone too. I'm presuming they've done the decent thing and disappeared into the undergrowth. Maybe they're heading for Southampton. I'm upset obviously. Gutted really. And God knows what I'm going to tell the children. I thought we were good together. Turns out they were in it for themselves after all.
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The hutch on the concrete terrace had negative equity. The guinea game was up.
This is hysterical. Should I hope you find them, if only for the kids' sake?
If you do track them down, could you send them over to us here in Ireland? - We've also got quite a few expenses sucking rodents we'd like them to persuade to do a similar runner!
As a guinea pig, I blame the media, it's the only explanation for our behaviour.
:-) I hope you find them.
Oh tooo clever Mrs North! Love it.
It sounds to me as though you have got a pair of (political Guinea) pigs at the trough. Maybe they are frightened of the revelations about their monetary misdemeanours due in tomorrows papers!!
Seriously, for the sake of your chidren, I do hope they turn up.
They'll just say that they acted within the rules.....so that's ok then.....NOT!
Now, I've 50 lightbulbs to change, a chandelier to hang and the moat to clean out. Pass me an expense sheet, somebody.
Your analogy is bang on!
"politically correct" in other words.
Two guinea pigs last spotted heading south with bundles tied on sticks over their shoulders. They weren't enjoying life in the north, despite having a large house and garden, so they headed south to find out if the streets of London really are paved with gold. Could be heading for disappointment I feel.
This week I'm babysitting a dwarf hamster called Rudolpho for a friend's child. Last night I remembered about it and got it out of it's cage for a little play. I put it in it's ball and let it trundle around the room, clanging into everything, with husband sighing noisily above the sound of the news and the clanging.
After a while I realised the clanging had stopped. In an instant we were up, closing all doors to prevent hamster escape and cat entry. Cushions flew off sofas, files were pulled wildly off lower shelves, husband swearing, me laughing light heartedly as if this was all a jolly game (whilst quietly sweating buckets)... no hamster. Sent husband off to find the cat and to check if hamster got out before the shut down then had a better look. Finally found Rudolpho racing back and forth in the space between the cushion and the window on the window seat.
I blame the two passing guinea pigs making faces at it outside the window. Now Rudolpho is demanding that I remodel his cage.
How much inside information have you got ? seems to me...... you know too much!!!!!!!!
I've got two you could have as replacements. You could just borrow them, if you want, until they're not teenagers any more. I'm not too sure they'd fit into either of the available accommodations, though. (I've just learnt that word looking for a hotel room in the States :-) )
I likie this a lot - made me smile.
Betty Ym x
We recently moved from the US to the UK, (from a tiny country town where I've lived my whole life to a big city!) myself and our 3 children followed my husband here as he's attending grad school - his dream.
It's been a hard adjustment for me. Yesterday my librarian gave me your book. I'm only on page 42 but I've already cried quite a few tears of understanding. It's beautiful.
I know this had a sad ending but I popped in here again as I was rather hopeful that you had a picture of Daisy and Holly riding their motor bike. Ah well - at least you'll have the memory . .
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