Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Tea for two

I have bought a teasmade. This has been a lifelong ambition and has made me very happy. I have no idea yet whether it works but it came in an impressive cardboard box and promises much. Not only can it make you tea on a morning, it can wake you with it, provide a bright bedside light, a clock, an alarm and a radio. Frankly there are men out there who work less hard than this teasmade. Possibly women too - though I doubt it.

Of course my husband disapproved. I tried to get one a couple of years ago and he said: "If you want tea so badly on a morning, I will get up and make you a cup." I think he believes it to be the epitome of lower middle-class, middle-aged, 1970's naffness. I however do not care. Last month when he was hardly ever here, I thought: "Bollocks to this, I am getting a teasmade." I ordered one in my local electrical shop and waited patiently for it to arrive. Today I snuck down to the village and picked it up. When I arrived back, my husband looked suspiciously at the box which is the size of something you would bury your lapdog in. In fact I may keep the box in the event I ever get a lapdog. He said: "Tell me that's not a Goblin teasmade." I said: "OK, I won't tell you." I need that cup of tea to wake me up. I struggle at the moment. I seem permanently exhausted and there is nothing less interesting than someone who drones on and on about how tired they are other than those people who insist on telling you about their holidays. I have already cleaned it and run it through its first cycle as instructed by the leaflet. The leaflet is full of dire warnings such as "Do not remove tea pot during the pressure filling cycle as scolding water may be ejected." Presumably if you do move it, a tinny voice says: "Didn't you read the leaflet you dolt? It said don't move me." Another reason I wanted it was the fact I only have one radio upstairs and have to carry it around with me between the bed and the bathroom and it is never where I want it to be. This way I can have a radio in both rooms. I am slightly worried about reception however which can be very bad here. The leaflet advises: "Turn the tuning dial to the frequency the radio station is broadcasting on. "Well, yes, that is always a good idea. Then it says: "It may be necessary to turn or move the teasmade for best radio reception." I suspect that is a potentially disastrous thing to do.

24 comments:

Pig in the Kitchen said...

I don't want to burst your goblin bubble (is Goblin the brand or some opaque jibe from your husband?), but where will you keep the milk? If you take milk in your tea, you'll need to keep some milk next to your bed.
Options: either, buy a small mini-bar for your bedroom [pig stares off dreamily into distance,envisaging small bottles of Cointreau nightcap and elegantly wrapped chocolates], or buy very small thermos to keep milk fresh. Then you have to remember to wash it. And bring the milk up from the downstairs fridge. It's the tip of the iceberg; you think you have made a one-off purchase, but you are now obliged to make further purcheasettes to complement the original purchase.
I'm hoping you take your tea black?
Pigx

Pig in the Kitchen said...

http://www.minicoolers.co.uk/

my credit card is out...

Potty Mummy said...

First off, I think Pig should move into a swanky hotel. No doubt, so does she...

Secondly, what a fabulous idea! Takes me back to the 80's when my parents had a teasmade. Unfortunately, I can't remember how they solved the milk conundrum.

blinkered said...
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Anne in Oxfordshire said...

Sorry I agree with your husband, they are naff....reminds me of my mum ....ok a good idea sometimes, but hey..how old are you.??...I love a cuppa in the mornings but just get up and make one.it is so old fashioned .but I do have a radio in my room and the bathroom, , I hope you have your cup and milk ready. oh by the way the radio in our room is a Dab digital radio with remote control great reception

Norman said...

I remember way, way back in the 1950s my Mam and Dad hving a teasmade. I was an apprentice in those far off days and needed to get up early to go to work in the shipyard. I lived in Sunderland then. No need for an alarm clock. That teasmade made quite enough noise to wake me and yes I was in my own room, not my parents'.
Nothing naff about it. If that's what you like, then go for it I say.
Naffness is in the minds of those who don't want these things.
BTW I don't have a teasmade either.

Iota said...

Can't you just put a bit of milk in the bottom of the cup, Pig? You'd have to live in a very over-heated house for it to have gone off by morning.

Your post has been a revelation - I thought it was a Teasmaid. Wouldn't that feel nicer, though? I would rather wake up to the thought of a girl in a white frilly cap with a cup of tea on a silver salver, than the thought of someone yelling "tea's made!" up the stairs.

rosiero said...

I used to have a sort of teasmade back in the 80s. It was in the guest bedroom and I kidded myself it made the guests feel more like they were in a swish hotel rather than in my decrepit spare room. However, the milk problem meant the guests either had to take the milk up with them the night before (so by morning the milk was slightly on the lumpy side) or go downstairs to the fridge in the morning (which rather defeated the object of having a teasmade in the first place. If you can find somewhere that sells those little UHT milk containers that cafes and hotels use, then you could buy a job-lot of those and keep them in the bedroom.

blinkered said...
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libby said...

Have you considered a serving hatch as well? For those of you who aren't familiar with them, they allowed "little wifey" to be part of the family whilst she prepared the evening meal. How quaint.

CrazyCath said...

Considering that hubby is not there to make you a cup of tea, and you would be reported for allowing young children to do it for you (I know they are dying to) then I think a teasmaid is an excellent idea. Always wanted one.

Expatmum said...

It used to be teasmaid (as in someone else who made it for you), and I always wanted one. Frankly I now have too much crap on my bedside table to fit anything else on and the milk thing would be an issue.
One thing you can do (as I found out with baby formula - sorry, ran out of breastmilk) - is to keep some powdered milk and some water seperately, then mix it when you need it. However there's nowt worse than a cuppa with fake milk is there?

Sweet Irene said...

That sounds like a perfectly handy machine to own and I don't understand your husband's objections. I can't wait to hear about your first cup. I hope it lives up yo your expectations.

Maggie May said...

I've got my own human teasmade! He brings me a cuppa without fail every morning! No need for a contraption while I have my hubby!

I Beatrice said...

Forget Goblin Teasmade -think Nespresso-Krups espresso machine instead! It won't make your coffee for you while you sleep, but it will make you want to leap out of bed as quickly as you can, just to get that first sublime cup of cappuccino made in minutes!

Plus, you get to become a member of a posh club in Beauchamp Place where the assistants all sound like Nigel Havers and say things like "That is not our concept Madam", when you ask them why you can't buy their coffee in the supermarket.....

My husband tells me that if it ever fails as a coffee-maker it will probably convert to being a flame-thrower, besides. But then my husband has a subversive mind - and has never, ever been able to FORGET THE WAR!

Rachel said...

Ignore your husband; I think a Teasmade sounds like a fab idea, naff or not. Getting up is such a struggle as it is. I have always (secretly) wanted one.

And good on you for not having one of those capsule coffee makers - filling up landfill with packaging which can only be used once etc.

Look forward to hearing whether it actually works.

Winchester whisperer said...

I always thought they were caled "teasmaids"

mutleythedog said...

Hummmmm... I think I would like a "Winespoured" to ring at six o'clock and turn over to the Adult Channel..

aims said...

I've never even heard of one - I wonder if they have them here in Canada...hmm...Enjoy Wifey - it's the little things in life that make it easier..

Friend of a Freind said...

Hi J.
As a friend of a friend I have read your blog avidly from the beginning. There are some truly great bits. I have occasionally been tempted to chip in a comment but never have. Today I cannot resist – there is absolutely no way you will solve the milk problem (taking milk up at night and remembering, or being tidy enough, to dispose of it again the next morning) no way. I’m also pretty sure you don’t take your tea black – I think this problem could turn into a major one. I am so looking forward to hearing how this goes. Ps good luck with the book.

Mean Mom said...

We've had a teasmade since we married in the 70s. 'Middle-aged and naff?' That could be a fair description of me, I suppose! I come from a working class background, however. I used to live in an end terrace no bigger than a shoe box. No bathroom until I was about 7 years old. Them was 'ard times.

Getting back to the teasmade. We usually put one of those ice packs, out of the freezer, on top of our milk jug. In the height of summer, my husband goes down to the kitchen for the milk. It's a really long way to the 'fridge. He's usually exhausted by the time he gets back.

Who cares what anyone thinks? Enjoy your teasmade. They are noisy, though, and that might take some getting used to. I sleep through the noise from ours, but still hear my alarm.

I've been missing for a while, so I'm a bit out of touch. Many congratulations on the publication of your book!

Sally's Chateau said...

Hysterical laughter coming from down here in France, I too am the owner of a teasmade which confirms that we are all mad !! AND I blend my own tea.

occasional northerner said...

Work of the devil - coffee's the thing for the morning.

Matt said...

I'm trying to find a North American Teasmade. They made them for the Canada and even U.S. markets but seem to be extremely rare. I can't just run a 240V circuit to the bedroom because our power is 60Hz instead of 50Hz so the clock would run fast. I've been watching on eBay but nothing yet, so you can take some comfort in knowing that someone in the U.S. envies you.