Comments on Wife in the North: The sound of gunfire

my son had his calculator taken from the back of h...

2007-05-08T00:58:00.000+01:00

my son had his calculator taken from the back of his rucksack and smashed against the wall while he was walking to the car where I was waiting. The latest in a long campaign being waged against him. I try to make sense of this but how can you to a child who is sitting in the car crying his heart out. I have a good mind to find the little shit and kick his head in - even if he is only 12 years old and then to go after his parents who obviously can't teach him any better.

WITN, I'm delighted to hear that you didn't just s...

2007-04-30T20:52:00.000+01:00

WITN, I'm delighted to hear that you didn't just stand for it when your child was bullied. It happens too much - always has, actually - and the damage can be unbelievable.

Unfortunately, some schools have policies that defy belief. I know at my daughter's school that 'the' school bully went one day without hitting anyone, or throwing chairs at teachers. He was about 9 at the time.

He was taken to play golf as a reward.

The huge number of days either side of that one well-behaved day he terrorised the other children.

Frankly, nothing effective was done until a large number of parents visited the school to see the head and make a formal complaint.

Guess how quickly the school did something then? And guess how quickly the boy's behaviour changed?

A climate of the wrong kind of tolerance is unacceptable where our children are concerned.

Ryan, I've just nixed you from my birthday presen...

2007-04-30T19:11:00.000+01:00

Ryan, I've just nixed you from my birthday present list.

Red is fine but blue would be perfect :-)

Personally, WITN, I thoroughly enjoy your blog. I...

2007-04-30T11:29:00.000+01:00

Personally, WITN, I thoroughly enjoy your blog. In my somewhat limited experience, school gate mums are some of the clickiest people around.

You should ask yourself whether you really want to be friends with such people - their rather narrow view of the world is their loss.

Keep up the blogging, and damn the whiners.

Living in the country in small communities is a mi...

2007-04-30T10:27:00.000+01:00

Living in the country in small communities is a minefield of personalities and people who don't always leave their own space! And every action is watched and noted.

From bitter personal experience we know that it's hard moving into established communities. It's also hard moving from south to north - but believe me, easier than moving from north to south! I wouldn't live in the south again even thought I'm from there originally.

Best advice is to join the village hall committee - you can meet more than 'Mums at the gate' and use your skills to develop a community blog!

Either way, bullying is not acceptable in any shape or form.

Best wishes
Mrs Bridger
http://mrsbridger.blogspot.com/

Anonymous 11:33Which town in the north of the US? ...

2007-04-30T04:28:00.000+01:00

Anonymous 11:33

Which town in the north of the US? I live in Colorado Springs...

If something like this happens in someone's life, ...

2007-04-29T21:27:00.000+01:00

If something like this happens in someone's life, they usually tell all their friends and relatives. These people know the person telling them, they know the child and they probably know the school and the community involved. Names are probably named. People and institutions are more than likely shamed.
Now, unless I've missed it, I have been given none of this information on this blog. I just know that someone somewhere in Northumberland has had a problem with her child being bullied at school.
As a UK resident, who regularly visits Northumberland on holidays (and loves it), I do have a sort of picture of area where Wifey lives but that's it.
Those people at the school are feeling over-sensitive when they worry about Wifey's blogging, because frankly she has been far more discreet here than you would ever be in real life if you were telling people about such a thing. The fact that people from other parts of the UK, from the US and elswhere know that this happened doesn't mean that we have ANY idea who was involved. Those who do know are still going to be locals, plus friends and relatives of Wifey, who would all have been given the full story anyway, blog or no blog.
All this angst about people "revealing" stuff on their blogs is a fuss about nothing, designed in my view to make the blogger feel guilty and distract from the real issue, which if I may remind people, was that a small child was being bullied and his mother did something about it. I hope we can all support that.

May be time for another blog now, this one is turn...

2007-04-29T19:01:00.000+01:00

May be time for another blog now, this one is turning into a punch up.

ryan - scorching stuff !! you are a fucking hero !...

2007-04-29T11:00:00.000+01:00

ryan - scorching stuff !! you are a fucking hero !! Well Done - I wish I could pull off a stunt like that..

Where does the word 'nixed' come from anyway ?

p.s. I think you should crash the wedding and sing a chorus of Elton John's famous song 'I wanna kiss the groom!' [Is this right, Ed.?]

Oh WITN, it's quite the war of words you've inspir...

2007-04-29T06:48:00.000+01:00

Oh WITN, it's quite the war of words you've inspired in your comment thread. I've always found it amusing that so many people take the time to read something with which they have already decided to disagree. Anyways, with regards to the school gate sharks, I say take my grandmother's advice and kill with kindness.

Just last week I discovered that a very close relation and business associate nixed me from her wedding guest list because I'm gay. Naturally, I immediately went to her gift registry, got her the red cuisinart food processor, and sent it with a charming note of well-wishing. I can't wait to get her thank you in the mail.

Sunshine, you are my sunshine. It is indeed despic...

2007-04-29T02:52:00.000+01:00

Sunshine, you are my sunshine. It is indeed despicable to group any and all Yanks in the same pro-Bush basket.

Wifey, sometimes I hope for a comment from you on a thread. But when I see what you have to contend with, I think I understand. Why, oh why, do you inspire such hatred?! I still think it's pure jealousy.

I don't know the geography of where you live in detail but I can't help but think maybe it would get much better if you only moved to the next biggest town.

Anonymous 2.43 - please tell me you are only kiddi...

2007-04-29T01:29:00.000+01:00

Anonymous 2.43 - please tell me you are only kidding when you say that what goes on in school should remain unreported - why on earth should activities within school be spared scrutiny when it involves our children? And why should teachers experience anxiety knowing that the school's inadequacies have been exposed (if that is the case) - surely it's a good thing to bring such issues out in the open if it helps to get them resolved? Keeping such worries "within the school" isn't "common sense" it's censorship.

I do not understand your comment that teachers may not look forward to Ofsted inspections because their school may have gained a reputation for bullying - has the school been named, did I miss something? Would people in America really give a damn about a small school in Northumberland even if they knew it's name?

I find it hard to believe that teachers' feelings are so delicate that a bit of school-gate (or blog-gate) gossip is too much for them, but should that prove to be the case then at least they have the summer off to get over it.

For anon 2:27 -- Please let's not group all Yanks ...

2007-04-29T00:11:00.000+01:00

For anon 2:27 -- Please let's not group all Yanks as Bush fans. There are so very many of us who want NOTHING to do with him. We are working so hard to be sure he does not try to invade ANY country again! I think the worm has turned, over here, and that in Nov.2008 you will see a big change in trying to make the world toe the line with military force.

Gosh,WITN, you have certainly rattled a few cages!...

2007-04-28T23:57:00.000+01:00

Gosh,WITN, you have certainly rattled a few cages! When it comes to mothers, some are over-defensive, think their little darling can do no wrong. Maybe mother of the bully has rallied the troops?
As I understand it, you started blogging to reach out in your loneliness- you now have, mostly, a supportive e-community,so ignore the ones who give you hassle.
One last thing- my kids go to a small village school too, and parents have a rota of school yard supervision: it's great, helps you get to know the other kids, helps the teachers and really lets you see what it's like to be a child in the playground, and greatly lowers the incidence of bullying. Good luck to you, and please keep blogging, I love it!

mutley - perhaps you could try talking a load of s...

2007-04-28T23:14:00.000+01:00

mutley - perhaps you could try talking a load of schmaltzy, cheesy, kitsch nonsense - the americans seem to hoover up that sort of 'have a nice day' nonsense with gay abandon..

I am lobbying to have their troops invade Scotland next, and have that all that lovely democracy introduced there, and get rid of all that hassle of having to decide whether Scottish or English people should get the oil revenue - we can just ship it straight to the USofA.

Blimey wifey - you have really rattled their cages...

2007-04-28T22:53:00.000+01:00

Blimey wifey - you have really rattled their cages! Anyone who talks out of place will always do so-I guess . No one visits my blog despite all the nudie pics you sent me - do you think I am doing something wrong?

Wifey is a journalist. Presumably she blogs to s...

2007-04-28T22:50:00.000+01:00

Wifey is a journalist. Presumably she blogs to share the daily happenings in her new life and invite comment from the outside world,otherwise she would just keep a diary!(I like reading her blog because it is warm,witty and articulate.)

What worries me slightly though is that she might be sharing too many details about her children-when they are older they might not want all their friends/schoolmates reading about what they have done or did when they were younger.
Perhaps this is also why it is taking a while to sort out friendships,children and adult,if people think that they might be included in the blog.

It was good that the bullying was sorted ,but in such a small school surely Wifey could get to know the families of all six(?) children in that class and have human as well as electronic contact.(Maybe she has done that already and just hasn't blogged it!)

I don't think there is a South v North divide,more a London v anywhere-in-rural-UK divide.

"Imagine the purple-faced goggle-eyed school-run-m...

2007-04-28T21:46:00.000+01:00

"Imagine the purple-faced goggle-eyed school-run-mums, perhaps parents of bullies perhaps not. "

I'm rather surprised that they haven't started their own blogs, to be honest, or at least started to comment on this one...

This is sort of funny if you think about it. Imag...

2007-04-28T21:07:00.000+01:00

This is sort of funny if you think about it. Imagine the purple-faced goggle-eyed school-run-mums, perhaps parents of bullies perhaps not. Talk about cat among the pigeons. Or is it a case of pigeon among the cats?

Rilly Super. Envy cubed. Why is that?

2007-04-28T20:53:00.000+01:00

Rilly Super. Envy cubed. Why is that?

Where is Rilly Super when you need her for advice ...

2007-04-28T20:50:00.000+01:00

Where is Rilly Super when you need her for advice ?

I do hope she is not too wrapped up in the problems of her grim life..

http://rillysuper.blogspot.com/

Hey it was anon of 2.11 who made the Amish compari...

2007-04-28T20:47:00.000+01:00

Hey it was anon of 2.11 who made the Amish comparison.

By the way, I don't think Wifey is trying to give a balanced view of life in the north. She is giving us pictures of her life in the north. There's a difference. Isn't this whole blog about having a sense of dislocation?

I don't think Wifey is complaining when she tells us about her experiences of trying to settle in and her children being bullied. You do. Why is that?

Hmm.. Look on the bright side, you could have ende...

2007-04-28T20:45:00.000+01:00

Hmm.. Look on the bright side, you could have ended up in Plymouth where getting kids to fight is positively encouraged...

You tell 'em eminem !! Why don't you suggest peopl...

2007-04-28T20:38:00.000+01:00

You tell 'em eminem !! Why don't you suggest people visit your blog, in case they can't visit in person ?

It sure gives a more balanced view on life in the north than Wife In the North. And you have lived there a lot longer, so you should know..

If outsiders think Northumbrians are like the Amish, that is purely down to the dreadful bias and inaccuracy of this blog, rather than the people.

Anon above me, we are not a closed Amish community...

2007-04-28T20:30:00.000+01:00

Anon above me, we are not a closed Amish community.

For one thing, this area is peopled by visitors from all over the UK (and a fair number from overseas)for half of the year. If we couldn't deal with people from elsewhere, this area would not be economically viable.

Why don't you try visiting before attacking?