tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37400848.post4116258358318589598..comments2023-12-31T08:43:00.853+00:00Comments on Wife in the North: Remembrance Dayswife in the northhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15227214647512546906noreply@blogger.comBlogger79125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37400848.post-87722897224880754742011-06-15T19:13:29.506+01:002011-06-15T19:13:29.506+01:00Do it because you love it not because others are w...Do it because you love it not because others are watching.I Love You Quoteshttp://www.iloveyouquotes.netnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37400848.post-89473341023417352012009-11-11T19:48:11.244+00:002009-11-11T19:48:11.244+00:00I have just discovered your blog. Scanning throug...I have just discovered your blog. Scanning through it for the first time I began reading your words from almost one year ago. Tears are rolling down my cheeks. Thank you for sharing. I know I shall visit your site many many times.Victoria | Hibiscus Bloemhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02937937184875769756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37400848.post-9380987267295998862009-06-11T11:11:30.311+01:002009-06-11T11:11:30.311+01:00I am a father who has lost a child to still birth....I am a father who has lost a child to still birth. Reading your post brought back so many poignant memories of the absurd tragic-comic situation that parents of still born babies find themselves in. I think of the experience like everything else as a kind of gift that life gives you. A hard even cruel gift to be sure, but a gift nonetheless. I am grateful because the experience has allowed me to talk to other parents of still born or miscarried children. I am grateful for the chance to tell them that they are not alone, and should not feel like freaks or outcasts from the human tribe, just because they could not bring a baby to term. But at the same time I feel like a bit of a fraud. The living memory of my son does not linger in my heart as yours does. Leaving was perhaps his choice, or perhaps it was the indifference of the universe, I don't know, but life moves on. I have two lovely boys now; the are more than a comfort or a compensation for the boy I and my wife lost, they are the embodiment of him. Finally, I think of my mother-in-law; a woman who is 82 and has born the loss of a child (aged 10), her husband, her parents and most of her friends. She is cheerful and optimistic in the face of a grief that I believe would kill a younger person. If life teaches you anything, it is how to bare grief.RodMundayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06501209829692874196noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37400848.post-20715062513711743142009-04-17T14:52:00.001+01:002009-04-17T14:52:00.001+01:00Dear Wifey,
What can I say other than I know ex...Dear Wifey, <br /><br />What can I say other than I know exactly what you are going through and yes, you are right, there are many woman going through exactly the same thing, although they are not..... they are not because they have not been through my pain, my birth, my grief. I lost my son 15 years ago, the pain easies but does not go, just becomes easier to bear. My husband and I remember our son always and more so recently when my father died and he was cremated at the same crematorium. I could see matthew's "spot" (where his ashes are) as we left through the back door waiting for dad's flowers to come through after the service. Old wounds opened up, but dad will look after Matthew now, and Matthew will show dad the ropes.<br /><br />I feel your pain, I cried your tears. Thank you for sharing your grief. Believe me it helps us all.<br /><br />TxAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00159280950148614897noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37400848.post-82327307536646879252009-04-17T14:52:00.000+01:002009-04-17T14:52:00.000+01:00Wifey, What can I say other than I know exactly w...Wifey, What can I say other than I know exactly what you are going through and yes, you are right, there are many woman going through exactly the same thing, although they are not..... they are not because they have not been through my pain, my birth, my grief. I lost my son 15 years ago, the pain easies but does not go, just becomes easier to bear. My husband and I remember our son always and more so recently when my father died and he was cremated at the same crematorium. I could see matthew's "spot" (where his ashes are) as we left through the back door waiting for dad's flowers to come through after the service. Old wounds opened up, but dad will look after Matthew now, and Matthew will show dad the ropes.<br /><br />I feel your pain, I cried your tears. Thank you for sharing your grief. Believe me it helps us all.<br /><br />TxAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00159280950148614897noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37400848.post-36093733050170624462009-04-17T14:48:00.000+01:002009-04-17T14:48:00.000+01:00Wifey, What can I say other than I know exactly w...Wifey, What can I say other than I know exactly what you are going through and yes, you are right, there are many woman going through exactly the same thing, although they are not..... they are not because they have not been through my pain, my birth, my grief. I lost my son 15 years ago, the pain easies but does not go, just becomes easier to bear. My husband and I remember our son always and more so recently when my father died and he was cremated at the same crematorium. I could see matthew's "spot" (where his ashes are) as we left through the back door waiting for dad's flowers to come through after the service. Old wounds opened up, but dad will look after Matthew now, and Matthew will show dad the ropes.<br /><br />I feel your pain, I cried your tears. Thank you for sharing your grief. Believe me it helps us all.<br /><br />TxAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00159280950148614897noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37400848.post-67134400527978506092009-04-17T14:46:00.000+01:002009-04-17T14:46:00.000+01:00Dear Wifey,
What can I say other than I know exa...Dear Wifey, <br />What can I say other than I know exactly what you are going through and yes, you are right, there are many woman going through exactly the same thing, although they are not..... they are not because they have not been through my pain, my birth, my grief. I lost my son 15 years ago, the pain easies but does not go, just becomes easier to bear. My husband and I remember our son always and more so recently when my father died and he was cremated at the same crematorium. I could see matthew's "spot" (where his ashes are) as we left through the back door waiting for dad's flowers to come through after the service. Old wounds opened up, but dad will look after Matthew now, and Matthew will show dad the ropes.<br /><br />I feel your pain, I cried your tears. Thank you for sharing your grief. Believe me it helps us all.<br /><br />TxAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00159280950148614897noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37400848.post-40073346354078785742009-04-01T22:45:00.000+01:002009-04-01T22:45:00.000+01:00I have only just read this despite it being posted...I have only just read this despite it being posted yonks ago! It makes me think of my mother (who you probably know lost Daniel when he was 17) its very beautiful and honest, so sorry to hear your son went to play with the angels.<BR/>I totally relate to the last bit though, whenever anyone asks how many brothers I have I say two but I'm thinking three,<BR/>Love Megan xMegastarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16512647178808920103noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37400848.post-75090170973046806482009-02-08T22:24:00.000+00:002009-02-08T22:24:00.000+00:00(o)(o)Mary Bethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02970052534402740820noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37400848.post-22697101974913325462009-01-05T21:13:00.000+00:002009-01-05T21:13:00.000+00:00This is beautifully written, in a few words you ha...This is beautifully written, in a few words you have summed up everyting about losing a child.<BR/><BR/>6 years ago we lost our son, he was our 3rd son and died during a premature labour, we have had another son since and like you our family looks good from the outside but there is such a huge hole in it which can never be filled.<BR/><BR/>Since he died I have run an online support site for baby loss, we recently had to move it from MSN so it is hard ot find us on search engines at the momet, if anyone has the sad reason to join the please visit us<BR/><BR/>http://www.hostingphpbb.com/forum/index.php?mforum=blsg<BR/><BR/>ALl of us on there have been very touched by this article, thank you for taking the time to write it and share your little boy with us.<BR/><BR/>Lynda xLynda Mosshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16250456955163376055noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37400848.post-78049717914812718872008-12-03T17:19:00.000+00:002008-12-03T17:19:00.000+00:00This is very moving, I thought of the parents of F...This is very moving, I thought of the parents of Faith and Hope. Every time she looks at her she`ll think of her lost sister.A friend of mine has just learned that her daughter has miscarried, she is distraught for her daughter, but says that she feels robbed. It`s essential that people write of their experiences to reach those that find difficulty in expressing themselves. Just been to the book launch of Christine Fieldhouse, her experiences of living with an alcoholic father brought discussion from the audience with similar tales to tell. We`re all looking forward to your next gig at the Laing Art Gallery in May. Chin up.Yvonne Younghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10873321999543311944noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37400848.post-25116495101515959452008-11-28T11:15:00.000+00:002008-11-28T11:15:00.000+00:00I am another one lost for words but wanted to say ...I am another one lost for words but wanted to say I'm sorry for the terrible grief you and your husband have endured and are still enduring. What a precious little baby you had and how very loved he is.hesterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11704387657735915636noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37400848.post-88743521856215869302008-11-23T10:25:00.000+00:002008-11-23T10:25:00.000+00:00Despite your warning to look away I read on and wa...Despite your warning to look away I read on and was overwhelmed at what you wrote. My heart goes out to you - I cannot begin to imagine the pain of losing a child.TheOnlineStylisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13993875451086499475noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37400848.post-77345157819363934222008-11-23T00:14:00.000+00:002008-11-23T00:14:00.000+00:00I cannot begin to imagine such a loss, I can only ...I cannot begin to imagine such a loss, I can only listen and hear your pain.<BR/><BR/>And hope to find the right words to say - I care a lot that you have been so strong and shared this.merry weatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15790847146645006254noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37400848.post-19139245565401408362008-11-22T22:32:00.000+00:002008-11-22T22:32:00.000+00:00Hello, I have neither been writing nor reading blo...Hello, I have neither been writing nor reading blogs lately - yours is the first I have come back to and find that this is here, and if ever a piece explained a person and their unique, funny melancholy this is it, and I am crying now, and I am moved beyond words, both by the facts themselves, and the dignity and humanity that there is in writing them down. It is a brave and I suspect necessary thing to share, and in the sharing your son lives, and in the empathy - yours for others, ours for you - there is hope. Thankyou. LivvyLivvy U.https://www.blogger.com/profile/15954289268370454513noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37400848.post-25028863495439238422008-11-21T18:29:00.000+00:002008-11-21T18:29:00.000+00:00I had two miscarriages, both blessedly early, but ...I had two miscarriages, both blessedly early, but painful the same. I was wondering, have you found that you've had to work through your grief at each new stage of the lives of your other children?<BR/><BR/>I've found that I go back and forth, grateful that they were taken early then angry for all we've accumulatively missed. I now understand why they say the pain never goes away you just get used to it.Cheryl Pitthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05930832509544868744noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37400848.post-17538769446575799242008-11-20T16:39:00.000+00:002008-11-20T16:39:00.000+00:00This is deeply moving, thank you for your honesty ...This is deeply moving, thank you for your honesty and your bravery. <BR/><BR/>A friend of mine is a spiritual healer and she believes that when a baby doesn't live, the soul stays with the mother and can choose to enter the body of her next baby.<BR/><BR/>I'm not sure what your beliefs are, but I hope you find the thought comforting in some way.Anna Colettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01231140076848750653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37400848.post-81383025522226818372008-11-18T20:50:00.000+00:002008-11-18T20:50:00.000+00:00I read this on Sunday morning, which was such a be...I read this on Sunday morning, which was such a beautiful day here, and meant to drop you a note to say I hoped you were (all) together on the beach.occasional northernerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12937407254161207915noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37400848.post-42488443930069826952008-11-18T11:59:00.000+00:002008-11-18T11:59:00.000+00:00It's not possible to read this without tears. Reme...It's not possible to read this without tears. Remember him with stars at elbow and foot.MBNAD womanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11604195971368211750noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37400848.post-71095784035790906092008-11-18T11:53:00.000+00:002008-11-18T11:53:00.000+00:00I asked a woman recently how many children she had...I asked a woman recently how many children she had. She stared at me, and said, '5. But I've buried two of them'. The force of her words nearly knocked me over.<BR/><BR/>I also don't know what else to say.<BR/><BR/>PigxPig in the Kitchenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10631525119816074013noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37400848.post-55691800877064239452008-11-18T11:45:00.000+00:002008-11-18T11:45:00.000+00:00I can hardly type this comment as any words seem s...I can hardly type this comment as any words seem so trite. To say nothing seems cruel. Bless you and your family. Please keep yourself strong. May the angels and keepers of the spirit world be with you and give you grace.<BR/>Be Well. xxJosephine Tale Peddlerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16431330956687490112noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37400848.post-83234512805150063082008-11-18T10:24:00.000+00:002008-11-18T10:24:00.000+00:00You are in deep pain.From my experience of grief, ...You are in deep pain.<BR/>From my experience of grief, I would say that in about 20 years' time you will be able to think about this without crying.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37400848.post-14753839057179660462008-11-18T03:46:00.000+00:002008-11-18T03:46:00.000+00:00I was moved to tears when I read about your first ...I was moved to tears when I read about your first son in your book, and now reading your marie C article, I find myself in tears again.<BR/>Your strength is amazing and your writing inspiring...Mom/Mumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00377035506718286960noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37400848.post-66422650058375017482008-11-18T00:34:00.000+00:002008-11-18T00:34:00.000+00:00Beautifully written and no, I don't think Facebook...Beautifully written and no, I don't think Facebook or Twitter can quite compare...in fact they're bollocks (like the Wired article), and just part of a depressing world where people's attention spans appear to be getting shorter and shorter by the second.<BR/><BR/>I know a large part of your pain - you don't ever forget, you get through it (somehow) and then you learn to live with it. It will always be there, which means your lost son will always be with you too. <BR/>xCarah Bodenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11429666157453439321noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37400848.post-17540079453243121832008-11-17T18:34:00.000+00:002008-11-17T18:34:00.000+00:00It's so hard to respond to this post, but I want y...It's so hard to respond to this post, but I want you to know I am thinking of you, along with many, in case that helps in some tiny way.<BR/><BR/>I think this post proves that blogging isn't dead. Twitter and Facebook really can't match this kind of thing. That's just obvious.Iota https://www.blogger.com/profile/08507184283437057648noreply@blogger.com